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හස්බන්ඩා සහ වයිපරේ . . . !!


කස්ටිය තරහා වෙන්ට එපා ඕන් ඈ . .

අදත් ඊමේල් එකකින් ආපු එකක් දැක්කාම මට මේකත් ඔයාලත් එක්ක බෙදා හදා ගන්නේ නැතුව බැරි උනා . . .

මේක කියවද්දීත් මැරෙන්න හිනා උනා හැබැයි . . .

සමහර ඒවා නම් කලින් අහලා තිබ්බ ඒවා . . .

කොහොම නමුත් කියවලා ම බලන්නකෝ . . .

මේකේ තියෙන ඒවා සකච්චා කරන්න ගිහින් 3 වෙනි 4 වෙනි ලෝක යුද්ද ඇති වුනොත් එහෙම අපි නෑ හරිය

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi, what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Angry wife to her husband

An Angry Wife To Her Husband 0n Phone:

"Where d Hell Are You ...?"

Husband: Darling You Remember That Jewellery Shop Where You Saw The Diamond Necklace n Totally Fell In Love With It n I Didn't Have Money That Time n I said "Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... "O:)

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing: Yeah I Remember That My Love!

Husband: I ‘m in the Pub Just Next To That Shop

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

A Special Package for Business Men.

An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men.

Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free.

After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.

All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Husband was seriously ill

Husband was seriously ill. Doc to wife: Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood, don’t discuss ur problems, no tv serial, don’t demand new clothes & gold jewels,

Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.

On the way home.. Husband: what did the doc say ?

Wife:- .No chance for u to survive

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

An intelligent wife

''An Intelligent Wife Is One Who Makes Sure She Spends So Much

That Her Husband Can't Afford Another Women"

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

New SIM to surprise her husband

Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.

She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number:

"Hello Darling"

The Husband Responds In A Low Tone:

"Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Wife treats husband

A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..

At The Club: Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?

Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?

Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football with Him

Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?

Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything, He's On the Darts Team in My Local

Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim

Do You Crave Special Again?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..

Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy, You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."

Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Cool message by a wife

Dear Mother-in-law,

"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Sweet demand by kid

A kid was beaten by his mom.

Dad came n asked - what happen son?

Kid said-I can’t adjust with your wife anymore,

I want my own.

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Lion bounced on wife

In an African Safari, A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.

WIFE: Shoot him! Shoot him!

SANTA: Yes, Yes. I'm changing d battery of my camera..

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Throwing knives on wife's picture

Husband was throwing knives on wife’s picture.

All were missing the target!

Suddenly he received call from her "Hi, what r u doing?"

His honest reply, "MISSING U"

. . . . . . .. . . .. . . .

I will think about it

When a married man says "I'll think about it",

What he really means that,

He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet..

. . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Habbit of talking in sleep

A Lady to Doctor: My husband has habit of talking in sleep! what shud i give him to cure?

Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake

. . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Part & Art of living

Having "WIFE" Is A Part Of Living...

But Having "GIRLFRIEND" Along With The "WIFE" Is Art Of Living.

. . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Head & Neck of the family

It is said that Husband is the head of the family,

but remember that wife is the Neck of the family & the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants.

. . . . . .. . . .. . . .

Dinner

Wife: Do you want dinner?

Husband: Sure, what are my choices?

Wife: Yes and no.

. . . . . .. . . .. . . .

What is the Difference between Mother & Wife?

A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying...

& the other ensures U Continue to do so.

. . . . . .. . . .. . . .

To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire

Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.

Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "A Billionaire"

. . . . . .. . . .. . . .

I look at your picture and the problem disappears

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?

Darling: When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?

Darling: Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Honey what r u looking 4?

Wife: honey, what r u looking 4?

Husband: nothing

Wife: why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour?

Husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Do you know the meaning of WIFE?

Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...

Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

WIFE says: No darling, it means:

With Idiot For Ever

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Wife wish 2 be a newspaper

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper so I would be in ur hands all day.

Husband: I too wish that u were a newspaper so I could have a new one every day.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Can I make a call to my wife?

A man in Hell asked Devil:

Can I make a call to my Wife?

After making call he asked how much to pay.

Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Husband, wife & spare tyre

HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle.

If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further

Moral: Always Keep a SPARE TYRE....

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Similarity between chewing gum & begum

What's the similarity between chewing gum & begum (wife) ??

Both are sweet at the beginning and become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the end..

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

WIFE IS DANGEROUS

LOVE IS LIFE

LIFE IS WIFE

WIFE IS KNIFE and

KNIFE IS DANGEROUS

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Too late for garbage

Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:

Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.

Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

What if you don't see me for 2 days?

A man came home late at night after a party.

His wife yelled: "how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"

The man couldn’t believe his luck: 'that would be great'!

Monday passed and he didn’t see her......

Tuesday and Wednesday passed too.....

On Thursday his swelling became better

And now he could see her from the corner of one eye.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Who is guilty (Husband / Wife)?

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!" Man gets up, jumps out of the window, hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Why women starts with W

You know why women starts with 'W'...

because all questions start with "W".. !

Who ?

Why ?

What ?

When ?

Which ?

Whom ?

Where ?

&

Finally Wife..!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN

Nobody teaches Volcanoes to erupt,

Tsunamis to devastate,

Hurricanes to sway around

& no one teaches How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Difference between Friend & Wife

Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend "U r my Best Friend"

But Do u have courage tell to ur Wife "U r my Best Wife?"

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Dream of receiving jewellery & cloths

Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream that u were sending me jewellery and clothes!

Husband: yeah, I saw your dad paying the bill!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Recently fired stock trader

A recently fired stock trader said ...

"This is worse than divorce... I have lost everything

and I still have my wife..."

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Message of the year

Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!

Why? Very simple...

A woman does not have a wife..!!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Husband to a newly wed wife

Husband to a newly wed wife: I could go to the end of the world for you.

Wife: Thanks, but promise me you will stay there for the rest of your life.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Why did u shoot ur wife?

Judge: why did u shoot ur wife instead of shooting her lover?

Sardar: Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

Your husband needs rest

Doctor: Madam, your husband needs rest and peace, so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?

Doctor: They are for you.!!

. . . . . . . . . . . . . .

මේකේ ඒවා ගොඩක් බටහිර රටවලට අදාල ජෝක්ස් . . අපේ අයට අදාල ඒවා තියෙන්නේ නම් කීපයයි . ..

ඔන්න අපි කලින් අවවාද කලා හොඳේ . . . .

හික් හික් හික්

46 යි අදහස්:

ඉන්දික උපශාන්ත said...

මේකේ ඒවා ගොඩක් බටහිර රටවලට අදාල ජෝක්ස් . . අපේ අයට අදාල ඒවා තියෙන්නේ නම් කීපයයි . ..

ඒ ඔය උඹටත් සතියක් හමාරක් නදීශව නොදැක ඉන්න බැරි කමට කියන කතා බව අපි දන්නව.

වර්ණා said...

හිනා ගියා මටත් හෙහෙ

ගොඩයා said...

මගේ අම්මෝ දුකා අයියේ.... මාගල වගේනේ, ටිකක් කියවගෙන ආවා... දැන් වැඩට යන්න ඕනේ... පස්සේ කියවනවා ඉතුරු ටික...... අනේ අපි නම් මේවගේ සත්‍ය අසත්‍යතාව දන්නේ නෑ........

හිතහොඳ පිස්සා said...

මට වලස් මාමයි වලස් නැන්දයි මතක් වුනා.............:D

රාජ් said...

ඕං මංතුමා නං එතුමියත් එක්කම කියෙව්ව.

කස්ස said...

හිනාවෙලා පන ගියා

ජිංජිබිරිස් said...

අයියෝ හිනා වෙලා මැරෙනවා අප්පා මම නම් කලින් කියවලා නෑ

පූසා said...

මං නම් තාම දන්නේ නෑ මෙව්වා ඇත්තද කියලා :D

Buratheno said...

ඉන්දික කියපු කතාවම තමා මටත් කියන්ට තියෙන්නෙ... :P

prasanna86k said...

හිනා වෙනවා වගේම අහිංසක පොඩි එවුන් බයත් වෙනවා...

හිස් අහස said...

කතා සැට් එක නම් මරු කියලා කමෙන්ට් කියෙවුවම තේරුනා. ඒවුණත් කියවගන්ට ගිහින් මට ඇඬුනා

Dude said...

හස්බන්ඩාගේ සහ වයිපරේ සනාතන අරගලය!! නැන්දම්මාගේ සහ ලේලි/බෑනා ගේ සනාතන අරගලත් මේ වගේමයි නේද?

henryblogwalker the Dude

Chamara said...

aiyooo

please reply my e mails bossa

දිනුක said...

ඔන්න 800වෙනි ෆලෝවර් විදිහට මමත් දුකාගේ මෙව්වා එකට සෙට් උනා.එහෙන් මෙහෙන් කියවලා තිබුණට අද තමයි ඔන්න ඉස් ඉස්සෙල්ලම මෙහෙ කොමෙන්ට් කරන්නෙ.හිනා වෙලා හිනා වෙලා හිනා වෙලා පණ ගියා.එළ කතා ටික.

මාතලන් said...

මේවා සිංහලෙන් දාන්න එපාය. අර කටේ ටන් කතාව වගේ...

පැණි දොඩම් said...

එළ ඈ.. සමහර ඒවා ඇහුවේ අදමයි.

ලකී සිරි said...

හෙහ්..හෙහ්...මරු තමයි..

Jeew said...

මම නම් වයිෆ්ට පෙන්නුවේ නැහැ... හිකිස්...

නාකියා said...

කළින් අහපුවා තිබුනේ කීපයයි. මරු, සිරාවටම හුගක් කතා වලට හිනා ගියා.( සමහර ඒවාටනම් එච්චරම හිනා ගියේ නෑ.)

තිස්ස දොඩන්ගොඩ said...

Great stuff!!!

but bit too lengthy dear!

ආකාසකුසුම් said...

මමත් හිනාවුනා . . .

ස්තුතියි දුකා

Anonymous said...

ara risk ekai dinukatai owa thiyaganna ara ahawalla eka oba thiyaganna.

ගිනි කුරුල්ලා said...

/*
An Airline Introduced A Special Package For Business Men.

Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free.

After Great Success, The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives Asking How Was The Trip.

All Of Them Gave A Same Reply..."Which Trip?"
*/ පට්ට පට පට

ඕනයා said...

//මේකේ ඒවා ගොඩක් බටහිර රටවලට අදාල ජෝක්ස් . . අපේ අයට අදාල ඒවා තියෙන්නේ නම් කීපයයි . ..//
ඔන්න බේරුනා කියමුකො . . . නැත්තං දුකාට නදීශව බලන්න වෙන්නෙත් දවස් තුනකට විතර පස්සෙ . . ඉදිමුං බැස්සාම

ඔබ නොදු‍ටු ලොවක් said...

මොනවද මේ අකුරු කියවන්න බෑ නේ....

Dinesh said...

දෙවෙනි කතාවට තමයි මම වැඩියෙන්ම කැමති..

Gimhani said...

හොඳ ජෝක්ස් ටික. :D

Observer said...

දුකා තාම පන පිටින්ද ?

අලුත් කොල්ලා said...

මරු.............

සරත් ලංකාප්‍රිය said...

නෝනා බ්ලොග් එක බලන්නේ නැති බව නම් සහතිකයි..

priyantha said...

කතා ටික ඔක්කොම නම් කියවන්න බැරි උනා මාගලක් වගේනේ. ඉතිරි ටික හෙමීට කියවන්නම්.
අනේ ඉතින් අපිනම් ඕවායේ ඇත්ත බොරු කියන්න දන්නේ නෑ....:D

සාතන් said...

දුකා අයියටත් මරු ඊමේල් තමයි එන්නෙ :)

නිසුපා said...

මරු කතා ටික.ටිකක්නම් අහලා තිබුනා.. :D

අභීත said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
අභීත said...

පවුල ඈත ඉන්නකන් මේවා ලියයි... ලංකාවට ආවහම බලමුකෝ මෙතන ප්ලාස්ටර් ඔතාගෙන ඉන්න හැටි....

සිතුවිලි නිහඬයි said...

ශෝයි කතා ටික....ක්ලාස් එකේ හිනාවෙලා නෝන්ඩිත් වුණා....

Bindi said...

බලන් ගියහම බටහිර පැත්තේ පිරිමි සංවිධානය වෙන්න ඕනනේ ගෘහස්ත හිංසනය ට විරුද්ධව .

said...

දැන් පොස්ට් දෙකයි,
මන් නම් කියන්නේ මේවා දාන්න එපා කියලා
මේ ෆෝර්වඩ් ඊමේල් එපා වෙන තරමට ආයි ආයි ලැබෙන ඒවා. ගොඩක් වෙලාවට හැමෝටම ලැබෙන ඒවා

දුකාගේ බ්ලොග් එකට එන්නේ දුකා ලියපුවා බලන්න මිසක් මේවා බලන්න නෙමෙයි කියන එක මතක තියා ගන්නවා හොඳයි ඔබතුමා :-D

මින් said...

මටත් මේකටම ටිකක් සම්බන්ධ මේල් එකක් ලැබුනා http://apemawala.blogspot.com/2012/02/blog-post_17.html

හිම කුමාරි said...

සමහර ඒවට හිනානම් ගියා.. ඒත්.... ඇයි මේ හැමෝම බිරිදව එපා වෙලා වගේ .. අගය අඩු කරල විහිලූවට ගන්නෙ කියලයි මට තේරෙන්නැත්තෙ.. :/

Weni said...

ටික ටික කියවලා අද තමයි ඕන් ඉවර කලේ..

වජිරදේවි said...

හොඳට හිනා වුණා.. පංකාදුයි කිවුවා..

Loku John said...

මටනම් අල්ලලා ගියෙ නැන්දම්මට යවපු ලියුම

ලහිරු said...

පට්ට කතා ටික, හැබැයි ටික ටික දැම්මනම් වටිනවා!

පුංචි කුමාරිහාමි said...

New SIM to surprise her husband

Woman Buys A New Sim Card Puts It In Her Phone And Decides To Surprise Her Husband Who Is Seated On The Couch In The Living Room.

She Goes To The Kitchen, Calls Her Husband With The New Number:

"Hello Darling"

The Husband Responds In A Low Tone:

"Let Me Call U Back Later Honey, The Dumb Lady Is In The Kitchen..
මට නම් හිත ගියේ මේකට..පිරිමි ඔහොමමයි හොද කතා ටික..

Praveena Palipana said...

//Dear Mother-in-law,

"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children, I'm living with one of yours & he needs a lot of improvement"// හී හී හී හී....

ඉදිරියේදී පාවිච්චියට ගැනීම සඳහා, වෙන් කර තබා ගන්නා ලදී.

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